|Last appearance||A Tree Grows in Lawndale|
|Occupation||Pizza delivery boy|
Artie is red-haired UFO buff and pizza delivery boy (later a Pizza King waiter) who first appeared in "Esteemsters" and later in "The Lawndale File" and "A Tree Grows in Lawndale." He was also an obstacle of sorts in the Daria video game "Daria's Inferno." ("Esteemsters" is the only one of these not written by Peter Elwell, who seemed to take a shine to Artie.)
In the "Before They Were Daria Stars" flipbook feature, Artie's character designs can be found; there are several of them, clearly dating back to the early days of the show (he'd clearly been planned to be used for a long time). They're also on the Complete Animated Series DVD but oddly, they're down as Upchuck's designs.
Artie in the Series
Artie in the series is portrayed as a nearly-psychotic, barely functioning UFO nut. In his second appearance, it's made clear his obsession prevents him from holding down a job: he's been repeatedly fired, something he blames on the aliens but is more because he does things like spend hours when on-the-job telling people about UFOs. It is sometimes assumed that he is a student at Lawndale High, though in "Tree Grows" it turns out he isn't.
His UFO mythology is even strange by those standards. Among other things, he believes that aliens are stealing humans' skin, because the skin remembers everything you see, taste, or touch. He also believes that the aliens who kidnap him periodically also press his pants and do "a nice job."
He's appeared twice on Sick, Sad World, talking about his abduction. In the second one, he accused Daria and Jane of being aliens, who "used me". The second time he ran into Daria and Jane, he recognised them as "familiar" but couldn't pinpoint where from.
In "Daria's Inferno", he's an obstacle in the second level, The Mall: there, he's working as an usher at the mall's cinema.
It is a bit unclear how old Artie is supposed to be; he does not seem older than Daria or Jane, but specifically states that he does not attend Lawndale High.
Artie in Daria Fanfic
Artie's numerous appearances in fanfic have been extremely consistent to type. He is usually depicted as a pizza-delivery guy or pizza waiter, but he sometimes has other jobs (paperboy, subpoena server, babysitter, etc.), having lost his previous employment for predictable reasons. His appearances are brief, minor, and humorous, with a few notable exceptions. It is not uncommon to see him interviewed on Sick, Sad World about his various alien encounters and abductions, with which he is perpetually obsessed. He seems delusional, but once in a while (in science-fiction tales) his wild claims about aliens turn out to be perfectly correct. He is present in the background of the John Lane series, The Look-Alike Series, the Driven Wild Universe, and many more besides. He also appears in several crossovers, being mentioned in passing even in a Doctor Who tale, Yui Daoren's "Doctor Who Gives a Damn."
Typical examples of Artie's appearances in fanfic include the following, in no particular order.
- "Suffer the Children" by Peter Guerin
- "Essay of Exile II: Return to Lawndale" by RedPanther
- "Ring Toss" by Nemo Blank
- "Darius" by TAG
More unusual examples appear below.
- "Interview with the Alien" by Galen Hardesty (Artie in semi-major role)
- "It's That Guy" by Richard Lobinske (Artie in semi-major role)
- "Daria 2010: The Treasure of Angela Li" by Robert Nowall (Artie in the future, hasn't changed much)
- "Weekend at Barch's by Patrick Moore (now a paperboy)
- "Courtroom Trauma" by Ben Breeck (now a process server)
- "The Exercise Project" by Thomas (now a part-time babysitter)
- "Cynic Wars: Episode IV: A New State of Hopelessness" by Matt (amusing crossover with Artie as a Jawa replacement)
- "A Hard Days' Night" by TAG (Artie as a paranormal crimefighter with alien connections)
Artie's most atypical roles in fanfic are given below.
- "It's a Wonderful Life, Not" by Thomas (amusing crossover with Artie as an incompetent angel)
- "A Day in the Married Life" by Mr. Anonymous (highly unusual alternate universe story featuring a recast Artie)
- "Too Many Choices" by Nemo Blank (excellent expanded comedy role)
- "Alien Home" by Richard Lobinske (see Artie Simmons); well-cast dramatic role in the Mother's Love series
- "Alien Heritage" by Richard Lobinske (see Artie Simmons; this sequel to "Alien Home" expands upon his character)
- "But Now Is Found" by TAG, part of the Outers series (possibly the only "evil Artie" in fanfic)
- Character description on Outpost Daria (via Wayback Machine)
- Character description in the Daria Character Database on Glitter Berries
- Possible source of Artie's problems (DFB2)
- All blog posts about Artie (DFB2)
- Artie's brief monologue on the MTV website
- Anthology of Artie-centric fanfiction on The Sh33p's Fluff
- Fan art of "Crazy Artie" by DJW, part of a large number of crossover illustrations involving a giant robot (mecha) universe