Daria! Song Lyrics

Following are the lyrics to the songs in the musical episode, Daria!.

Because heard lyrics can be subjective, please listen to the episode again before changing lyrics, or feel free to discuss it on the talk page.

Morning in the ‘Burbs

Sung by: Jake, Helen, Daria, Quinn, Weatherman, Neighbors.
Locale: The Morgendorffer home.

--

Jake: I got a big wheel rolling in my heart.
Helen: I really don't know what that's supposed to mean.
Jake: It means a Lawndale morning's gonna start.
Helen: Put on your pants! We're seeing more than should be seen!
Neighbors: I'll say!
Helen: Today I'll be the perfect working wife and mother!
Jake: Today, I'll show my clients that this man is strong!
Helen: But, oh today, is booked like every other.
Jake: I'll probably tell my clients they're right and I am wrong,
Together: But still it's morning in the ‘burbs!

Quinn: It's such a great day, I wish I could buy it.
It looks so good it makes my eyeballs hurt.
Does this go with this top? Should I try it?
Quinn's Reflection: Oh, put on any skirt or shirt.
You'd even look good wearing dirt.
Quinn:Thanks!
Both:On this morning in the ‘burbs!

Daria: Oh me oh my, a lovely day is dawning,
Oh what a joy, I didn't wake up dead,
So I can go to school and then resume my yawning,
And get my sleep in class instead of in my bed.

Jake: Morning, Helen!
Helen: Morning, Jake!
Jake: Hair all right?
Quinn: Looks kinda fake.
Jake: Great! And now my leave I'll take,
It's off to work I go...
Quinn and Helen [spoken]: Bye!
Helen: What's the weather like today?
Weatherman: Maybe a hurricane on the way.
Helen: But it's such a lovely day!
Quinn: What does science know?
Daria:
Oh, that's great. The toast is cold.
What tales of nothing will unfold?
All: Here on this same old...
Daria: This same old-
All: -morning in the ‘burbs!

What If The Town Blows Away?

Sung by: The Lawndale High School Students and Faculty.
Locale: Lawndale High auditorium and roof.

--

Ms. Li: Cancelled!
Students: No!
Ms. Li: Yes... now; everybody out, everybody out!
An ordered quiet exit is what exiting's about.
Mr. Demartino: You will not scream or howl or shout!
All: Everybody out, everybody out!
Upchuck: (Rrrrrr…) But what if? What if-what if the town blew away?
Kevin: What would the football players play?
Fashion Club: Where would we go to shop all day?
Mr. Demartino, Mrs. Bennett: Would we still get three months off with pay?
Mr. O'Neil, Ms. Barsch: If the town blew away?

Students: Oooooooh, Oh….

Jodie: Nowhere isn't anywhere I want to live.
Mack: Nowhere makes Lawndale look all right.
Jodie: Nowhere is a address that's very hard to give,
Upchuck:When you ask for a ride home on Friday night.

Brittany: I hope that you're not too sad you don't get to play.
Kevin: I am, but I think the weather's fine.
[spoken]
X-Files said this is just the sneaky way
The authorities create like a natural disaster thing
Because of the real reason the game is cancelled
I mean, big game, big storm, coincidence?!
Players: Well, we're not falling for their line!

Brittany:
Come on, Kevvy, don't be mad.
I've thought of a way to make you glad.
We'll go up to some other place,
Kevin: Hey, that's cool babe, let's go suck face.

Football Players in background as Brittany sings the above verse:
What if the town blew away?
What would the other townships say?
Would they put up a plaque to mark the date?
The town blew away?
Oooooaaaaay....

Daria: Hey, look at what the newspaper is saying.
Jane: What?
Daria: It says a great big storm is on the way.
Jane: Cool!
Daria: The roof's not really where we should be staying.
Jane: Why?
Daria: Because this big-ass storm is happening today.
Jane: Hey, what if the town blew away?
Daria: My sister would have nowhere to stay.
Jane: The mall would be gone and that's OK,
Both: Down on your knees and begin to pray that the town blows away.

Dialogue

Daria: I always knew I'd die here in nowheresville
Jane: But I didn't think I'd die there quite so soon
Kevin: Hey, this is like that video: "When Scary Storms Kill"!
Brittany: We'll be dead right by afternoon!
All four: If the town blows away!

Helen

Sung by: Eric Schrecter
Locale: The law firm of Vitale, Horowitz, Riordan, Schrecter, Schrecter, and Schrecter, Helen's office.

--

Eric [spoken]: Helen! What are you doing here?! There's a hurricane coming! I.. know I never said it before, but...

[singing] Helen... oh, Helen... you're so swell... -en.

[spoken] Hot damn! I'll e-mail you.

Don’t They Know I Can’t Leave Yet?

Sung by: Helen, Quinn, Daria, Jake, and the Fashion Club.
Locale: Helen's office and at Junior Five at Cashman's.

--

Quinn: Why don't they know? It's easy to see, that I can't go 'til I'm dressed perfectly.
Helen: Why don't they guess it's more than a quirk, I've got to confess I’m addicted to work!
Quinn: A shrink would have a field day with my head…
Helen: …if he listened to the sentence I just said.
Daria and Jake: Obsessive kids and Moms just might be ticking bombs
Helen and Quinn: So I'll keep it to myself instead
Quinn: It doesn't matter really what I do or wear
Helen: I could do a half-ass job and nobody would care
Fashion Club: But wowing colleagues and friends is the greatest of life's ends
Helen and Quinn: So when life ends at least it ends with style and flair
Helen: Coming in second wouldn't be the worst…
Quinn: …as long as no one else was first.
Helen: Oh don't they know
Quinn: Tell them it's so
Together: Don't they know I can't leave yet?

Gah, Gah Dammit!

Sung by: Jake and other drivers.
Locale: The Highway.

--
Of note: There is some question among fans of exactly what Jake is saying: if it is "gah, gah dammit" or "god, god dammit". While it certainly sounds like "god", it may be intended to be that way due to TV censorship issues, or simply to not annoy some viewers too much. While the phrase "god damn it" is considered "not profane" under section 1464 of 18 FCC Rcd 4186 (2003), that may not have been the case in the late 1990's. (In any case, the FCC does not have jurisdiction over content on cable television.) Jake sounds like he is saying "gah" on the first of each "gah-gah", though, so the verdict is unclear at this time.

There is no question, however, that the writers are intending Jake to mean "god-god", whether they were using "gah or "god", so singing it either way is probably accurate.
--

Jake:
I've got a foot on the gas,
And a hammer in my head,
Thinking of my girls and the ways they might be dead,
They should be safe at home and warm and by the fire,
Instead they're warming up to sing in that heavenly choir.

Jake: (Other drivers:)
Gah, Gah dammit! (Learn to drive, jerk!)
Gah, Gah dammit! (Glad you got your horn to work!)
Gah, Gah dammit! (Stay in your lane!)
There's a hurricane coming and I'm going insane!

Motorist: Quit swearing like a drunkard and get right with the lord.
Motorist’s wife: We're a very moral family with a baby on board.
Jake: And I say, GAH, GAH DAMMIT!
Motorist and wife: Oh me oh my!
Jake: GAH, GAH DAMMIT!
Motorist and wife: We hope that you die.
Jake: GAH, GAH DAMMIT! (you tell them, Jack!)
I think I see my turn-off so you better get back!

Other drivers: GAH, GAH DAMMIT!

They Must Be Worried

Sung by: Daria, Jane, Kevin and Brittany.
Locale: Lawndale High School roof

--

Jane: Our families and friends,
Daria: busy saving their rear ends,
Jane: May have overlooked an absent teen or two.
Kevin: But by now they're catching on that two well-liked kids are gone,
Brittany: And I’ll bet that someone's even missing you,
Brittany and Kevin: So while the wind does blow, On our loved ones down below, We wish that we could them we're OK,
Jane: And I'd say "I'm on the roof with a bimbo and a goof, but I'm due to come back down most any day..."

Brittany: They must be worried,
Daria: They're probably distressed.
Brittany: They must be worried,
Jane: It's causing them unrest.
All: They must be worried...

Daria: It's really hard to guess,
Exactly what Quinn's thinking
though my instincts says,
it's probably about her shoes,
Mom and Dad, though, I don't think
are exactly tickled pink,
That I've vanished and that
I've left no clues.

Daria: They must be worried,
Jane, Brittany and Kevin: I wouldn't be surprised.
Daria: They must be worried,
Jane, Brittany and Kevin: Getting misty in the eyes.
Daria: They must be…
All: worried...

Manly

Sung by: Jake, Trent, Quinn and Helen; then Daria, Jane, Kevin and Brittany.
Locale: The Morgendorffers' home, then Lawndale High School roof

--

Jake [Singing]:
It used to be enough,
To be strong and good and tough,
And to try whatever hasn't been tried,
But now I'm a jerk with a brain that doesn't work,
If I don't consult my feminine side
Of what it is to be manly? (Manly)
Maybe we should stay here and hug,
would that be more manly? (Manly)
Oh kill me now I think I squashed a bug!

Helen [spoken]: Trent can't you talk some sense into him?
Trent [spoken]: Sounds sensible enough to me...

Trent [singing]:
I can show that I care,
I can cry, I can share,
I've got my brain in my sensitive world,
But please tell me why being a modern guy,
Makes me feel like a bearded girl?
I guess that's not manly, (Manly)
I do nothing but hey - I feel,
I feel mighty manly, (Manly)
I'm so excited I just might squeal!

Jake [spoken]: Come here, big guy!
Trent [spoken]: You got it, boss.

Jake: I'm proud to be the home of a Y chromosome,
Trent: I'm proud this hair is growing on my chin,
Jake: Let's get the hell out there!
Trent: Find those girls for who we care!
Jake: We won't be back till we can bring 'em in!
We're gonna be manly (Manly)
Hang on, help is on the way!
It's time to be manly! (Manly)

Jake: Honey? Is that okay?

All: Manly!

Dialogue

Brittany [spoken]: You give up? You can't give up!
Daria:
The girl with the squeak says it's no time to be meek
Time to do what you manly men do.
Jane:
She means break down the door
Give a holler or a roar,
Make some stupid football noise and bust through...

Brittany: You've got to be manly! (Manly)
Daria: My great aunt could do better and she's dead.
Brittany: Come on and be manly! (Manly)
Jane: Now apply your mighty helmet of a head.

Kevin [Yelling]: MANLY!

The Big Wet Rainstorm‘s Over

Sung by: Everyone
Locale: Lawndale High School roof, then Tiffany's bedroom, then Jodie's house, then outside the Morgendorffers' home.

--

Daria, Jane, Brittany, Kevin:
The big wet rain storm's over,
We're happy we're still here,
The big wet rain storm's over,
The end came very near!
Daria and Jane: We didn't die with Brittany instead we got to sit and see,
Brittany: Kevin's head act mightily!
Kevin: (humbly) Oh, Babe!
All: The big wet rain storm's over!

Sandy, Tiffany, Stacy: The big wet rain storm's over, where's Quinn?
Sandy: and do we care?
All: The big wet rain storm's over,
Stacy: She's in a store somewhere,
Sandy: How do you like this jersey top?
Tiffany: It's colors make your highlights pop.
Stacy: OK, we're dressed, now we can shop!
All: The big wet rain storm's over!

Jodie and Mack:
The big wet rain storm's over,
And Lawndale's still the same.
The big wet rain storm's over,
Our life is once more tame.
Jodie: Though if the town were gone today
Mack: and all the people blown away
Both: We'd be the mojori-tay
The big wet rain storm's over!

Trike Girl:
The big wet rain storm's over,
I think you hurt your car.
Jake:
The big wet rain storm's over,
Now will you go real far
Away from me,
Because you see,
I crashed my car into a tree!
And I'm as mad as mad can be!
Trike Girl: The big wet rain storm's over!

Jake: You OK?
Trent: I'm OK. You OK?
Jake: A-OK.

Both:
The big wet rain storm's over,
The airbag saved our life,
The big wet rain storm's over,
Jake: Explain this to the wife,
Now will you please get out and see,
Trent: The damage caused by this here tree?
Jake: The sight's a bit too much for me!

Everyone: The big wet rain storm's over!

Morning in the ‘Burbs II

Sung by: Jake, Helen, Quinn, Daria; then everyone.
Locale: The Morgendorffers' home

--

Jake: I don't care a thing about my smashed up Lexus,
You're really what my caring's all about,
Daria: That must be why you crushed my solar plexus,
Jake: I'm sorry hon, but I'm so happy I could shout,
Quinn: So you've found my sis at last,
Helen: Crashed the car
Jake: Ah, the past is past.
Helen: As least you didn't break your neck,
Quinn: You could've, though,
Daria: but what the heck, ‘cause:

Daria [spoken]:
Today was strange in extremes,
And that's put lightly,
And yet it started out so dull and pretty dumb,
And so this feeling I feel,
I don't feel slightly,
It's the hope that tomorrow will come,
And another weird morning.

Quinn: Yes, a dawning,
Jane: An exciting new day of warming,
All: No need for a surgeon general's warning,
Morning, morning,
It's morning, morning,
Morning... in… the… ‘burbs!