The Lawndale Lions is the Lawndale High football team. The team appears in some of the episodes and is referenced in both The Daria Diaries and The Daria Database. Their overall skill at football is unknown - often when they're shown playing, something unfortunate but hilarious is happening to wreck their performance - but they have previously won the state championship.
The Lawndale Lions uniforms are the school colors of yellow and blue, but interestingly they are devoid of anything identifying attributes such as player numbers and names.
A lot of grade fixing goes on to make sure they will be able to keep playing football ("See Jane Run", "Murder, She Snored"). Mack is the single member who isn't on academic probation, and seems frustrated with his team-mates at times. He's had to inform the team to stop misbehaving on the team bus, with misbehaviour including picking fights with passing tractor-trailer drivers, hiding cheerleaders in the little bathroom, and pouring drinks on the bus driver while the bus is in motion. ("The Daria Diaries")
When Kevin was absent in "A Tree Grows in Lawndale", the Lions suffered a hideous losing streak.
Members of the Team
The team is trained by Coach Gibson (The Daria Diaries).
The complete list of players is difficult to compose. Several players appear in the episodes, but only in passing and without any speaking lines. Also, few have been given names during the running of the series. The known athletes are:
- Kevin Thompson - quarterback
- Mack Mackenzie - captain of the team (specifically stated as such in both books and in "Fizz Ed"); his position is given as running back on an archived webpage of the MTV Daria website.
- Jamie White - position unknown
- Joey - position unknown
- Jeffy - position unknown
- Robert - position unknown
- Doug Thompson was captain seventeen years prior to the second season of Daria.
- Tommy Sherman was the team quarterback three years prior to the first season.
- Unnamed replacement quarterback in A Tree Grows in Lawndale, who has been in high school for six years and caused people on previous to have 'accidents' ("they made me mad"). His threats of violent death during training had the rest of the team too scared to play with him, but he didn't seem to grasp this and got upset that "this happens everywhere I go".
Upchuck is not a football player, but he is the game commentator/announcer during home games.
Mack ran the LL website, a sub-page of Lawndale High's own site (one of the MTV tie-in sites). Mack, feeling bitter at the time, wrote:
"Sports are a great way to build character. You learn how to take orders from an ignorant, often abusive authority figure, abandon any semblance of thinking for yourself, and sublimate your own values and ethics in order to bring some kind of cheap glory to a community of frustrated, embittered fatcats too old and well fed to go out on the field themselves.
We've been studying the Vietnam War in history class, and the parallels between serving in that conflict and playing high school football are really quite fascinating -- the difference, of course, being that the grunts of Nam were shunned when they came home, whereas we'll get college scholarships, unlimited credit at all the stores on campus and our pick of female students to mistreat. And not one of these mindless cretins to the left and right of me on the line of scrimmage will ever give a second thought to whether they deserve any of it.
So come on out for team sports! It's better than going to war! I really need some time off."
An MTV tie-in website - transcribed at the Fandom Blog mentioned the other high school football teams in Lawndale's county:
- Oakwood Taproots
- Briarwood Beefalo
- Eagleton Elephant Seals
- Lawrenceville Locusts
- Oakpine Native Americans
- Mo Udall High Marmosets
- Lakeland Bichon Frises
We also see in "I Loathe a Parade" that they've played against a team with a penguin mascot/name.
The show has always been fuzzy about when in the year the episodes are taking place. Between that and Kevin always wearing his uniform, it gives the impression that football season is abnormally long in Lawndale. Several fanfics have decided that Lawndale's county has a spring football season because it loves football that much. Is It College Yet? is notable for being the one time when football season is explicitly stated to be over.